


vehemence

by effulgence



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Abuse of Power, Assasins AU, Blood and Injury, Bottom Choi Yeonjun, Choi Yeonjun-Centric, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Torture, Knives, M/M, Minor Violence, PLEASE read the tags!!, Past Torture, Psychological Trauma, Scarification, Top Choi Soobin, alcohol consumption, assasins - freeform, but NO knife play, no beta we die like men, no capitalization, no explicit description on past injuries, nothing graphic really but still, nothing too intense, plot is definitely there but vague, slightly self projecting but ignore me, so much internal dialogue, they're apart of secret agencies, yeonjun is a virgin, yeonjun is covered in scars just fyi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:00:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27641087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/effulgence/pseuds/effulgence
Summary: soobin had always been intensely compelling to yeonjun, partly a reason for the elder's desperation to get to him, but something he refused to acknowledge because there was nothing to be done about it.he is only an assassin, owned by an agency since infancy, trained to kill and hunt and hurt.inflict, inflict, inflict.there has never been room in yeonjun's heart for the rush of affection and concern to move in.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun, soobin yeonjun
Comments: 8
Kudos: 98





	vehemence

it's when yeonjun was assigned to execute a man close in age to him - tall, lean, beautiful - that he experienced his first moment of regret. 

a force not to be reckoned with, choi soobin is invincible, just as yeonjun worked so hard to become, and yet the other man is seamless, a natural.

the tables turned upon yeonjun's first mission, one he was more than determined to accomplish considering this assignment would look stunning on his record. it would be a highly ranked case which always entitles special privileges. 

perhaps, a day of yeonjun's own. maybe a breath of independence, seperation. that was unlikely, but it wasn't impossible. nothing was impossible, because yeonjun would know. the answer lies in his agency files.

such thoughts were disregarded when yeonjun was quite literally unable to defeat his assignment. it threw yeonjun off, as though him being incapable of completion goes against his dna, the core of his being. this was all yeonjun was ever raised for, and yet he was suddenly weak against a man he never knew of. 

choi soobin became his prime enemy not soon after. alarmed to find out, yeonjun was informed of soobin's field of work; assassination, just as him. it explained the way the man so effortlessly dodged every single attempt yeonjun went for, but soobin was not without mercy.

soobin had no intentions to kill him, yeonjun came to find out. soobin is a killer by case, not by innate will. if he doesn't have to execute someone, he rather not. yeonjun, on the other hand, holds himself higher. he is a dangerous one, unforgiving in his killings.

despite soobin understanding all too well of the other's job - the fact that yeonjun will not be stopped, forced to try again and again until soobin is finally eliminated - he chose to run. soobin hid from his proclaimed ruthless killer and the agency controlling the assasin, the root of all this. 

unfortunately, yeonjun has continued to find him everywhere he goes, despite avoiding the entirety of south korea; fleeing to the sequoias of california; socotra island; an oil rig amongst a hundred off the gulf of mexico, which was a particularly rigorous time in hiding. still, yeonjun found him quickly and soobin realized how idiotic his chosen spot had been.

yeonjun has never stopped trying, always hunting soobin down every chance given, but always failing. the punishments the agency give yeonjun became more and more severe. each time he were to return without the confirmation of choi soobin's death, yeonjun was met with nightmarish consequences of beatings; methods of torture using water and electricity and fire and all things in the horror movies yeonjun has never enjoyed the freedom of watching. 

soon enough, yeonjun was scarred all across his body, inflictions he internalized and ultimately blamed soobin for. yeonjun's blood was upon the agency's hands, but it was because of soobin. the fucker just wouldn't let yeonjun kill him, wouldn't allow him to finally relieve himself of endless abuse. 

now, soobin's blood was to be upon yeonjun's hands, upon the skin of both palms, burned by the brand of his agency's renowned symbol. this, of course, is if he could actually overcome this assignment.

yeonjun's insides burn with disdain from the moment he wakes up to the minute he falls asleep, where he is driven mad with night terrors. he rises with cold sweat sticky on his skin, soobin haunting him like a ghost of what was to come.

he initially began to think he was going crazy, dazed from the swirling thoughts of being incapable, deserving of death by the agency's force. 

yeonjun wished for it to end. it is all he wanted.

-

yeonjun decides this will be his last attempt. he found soobin once again, taking well over a month to trace the younger man who was off on an assignment of his own, this time being in the deep city of rio de janeiro.

the lights are a stark orange, casting a warm glow upon the streets lined with bars and restaurants yeonjun had no thoughts of, mind geared up on getting soobin when he would least expect it. yeonjun hadn't seen the other man in a while, an inconvenience to the elder, but also an advantage that allowed soobin time to breathe, perhaps get a little too comfortable with the false idea of freedom from his personal assassin. being one himself, soobin should know better, yeonjun thinks, but wishes otherwise.

soobin is beautiful as always, sticking out amongst a crowd with his height and doll-like face. if only people knew how dangerous the man was, he wouldn't be able to catch anyone's eyes in that case, out of sheer fear of him. yeonjun has had too much time to think about what exactly makes up choi soobin. hate may be rooted deep inside yeonjun, but he can't lie to himself by saying soobin is anything other than compelling.

he's unaware, careless, this time around. 

okay, actually, he is drunk.

holy fuck, soobin is off his ass.

yeonjun was going to get him, go out with a bang, and gravel in it. it's gone on for too long for yeonjun to give a care. he has suffered so much due to this one-sided battle. he is scarred, bruised, burned. yeonjun's being has slowly been chipped away, piece by piece, and he's pretty fucking sure there is no longer room for anything aside from hate and the drive to eliminate, execute, absolutely fucking murder this man. yeonjun reminds himself of all the times he indulged in the sticky blood upon his hands, blood of strangers. this time should be the same.

only... it's different. yeonjun watches soobin walk alongside the road, swaying in his drunken state, a side of soobin the elder assassin has never seen in the two years he's murderously sought the man. he isn't quite sure how to feel about it. yeonjun never wanted to be one to take someone out like a wuss, a pussy that stabbed them from behind. he always completed a mission with some form of fight, because that's how he kept himself as an assassin worthy of the agency. 

yeonjun is beginning to feel as though he were being pulled two different directions; go through with the plan, end his suffering; or stay overnight and get it done when soobin is on fair grounds. 

but... fuck. yeonjun just knows he'll lose again. he can't lie to himself anymore. he is no match to choi soobin. it doesn't mean he isn't a dangerous opponent, but that soobin is a natural, and yeonjun simply can't compete with that. nonetheless, don't think yeonjun never left a mark on soobin. soobin has the scars to show it. 

it's when the drunken man loses his footing on the cracked cement and falls flat on his fucking face that yeonjun gives up. soobin doesn't even move, and while it'd be satisfying to see any other time, this wasn't done by yeonjun's hands, but by soobin's own dumb ass decisions. 

drunk, passed out, and probably bleeding from the nose, yeonjun decides to walk out from his hiding spot and pull the lean man up by the shoulders. soobin is limp, and therefore, heavier than hell. no wonder yeonjun can't beat the fucker, he is a god damn giant. 

yeonjun just can't bring himself kill the dude while they lie in such unequal states. it goes against his gut, and beyond. it's the kind of cold blood he doesn't spill. having spent so much time trying to off soobin, it would only make sense yeonjun does so when soobin is at his most vulnerable, but would it really be a defeat on the other man's part? when soobin was only ever able to be executed by yeonjun so long as he was literally passed out? incapable? this wouldn't be "going out with a bang" as yeonjun had hopeful wishes of, this would be chickening out. all the same to his agency, but poison to yeonjun's core.

struggling, but managing, yeonjun takes soobin back to his hotel - who is still out like a light, with a nose bleed that yeonjun expected. of course, he was already aware of where soobin is staying. he always is, after all, even if it takes time to dig up such information. 

the staff of the hotel throw questioning glances - really only due to the blood dripping down the man's nose and not him being passed out since drunk tourists are... a given. 

yeonjun tells them he's simply taking his inebriated asshole friend, who trips on his own feet for fun, to his room. the staff nod in silence, and off yeonjun goes, towing an unconscious, bleeding man to his hotel room. nothing much. no big deal. 

soobin's hotel room is lavish, as expected, because no agency will allow what is their's to reside in dangerous, lowly sleeping spaces, but they will definitely beat and torture their assassins so long as it is by their hands. the irony stings just a bit.

yeonjun quite literally throws soobin onto the bed without a care, pissed he's even doing this to begin with. his agency would fucking kill him if they knew this was happening. which they won't, unless yeonjun wants to be tortured to death for going against orders of his agency's loyal client. 

despite the quality of the hotel room, soobin has already settled in, obvious by the clothes strewn about the floor, on the desk, in the corner. any sign regarding his status as an assassin, though, is nowhere to be seen. 

a handsome-faced genius killer, with a messy bedroom, who gets drunk during missions. this is the man yeonjun has failed at executing for two whole years. he quite literally wants to punch his own face in as the last shed of pride he has withers into itself right where he's standing. 

while yeonjun deals with a sudden existential crisis, soobin lays on the bed, starfished but torso bent at an uncomfortable angle that the man will definitely feel tomorrow morning. soobin looks peaceful - something yeonjun could never even dream of relating to - despite the dried blood smeared across his face.

yeonjun ultimately decides to just... leave. he can't go through with his mission, at least not tonight. 

not like this. 

-

it takes another week before yeonjun gets the opportunity to put his unkind hands on soobin. he reported back to the agency that he had yet to pinpoint soobin's exact location, relieved by the fact that he failed to make an initial report before the drunk-soobin-incident. they scolded him and went as far as threatening yeonjun of physical punishment. it set a fire under his ass all too hot.

when the elder draws up on him quickly, knife already pointed, soobin is only shocked for a moment before he's thrown into high gear and backs off, slipping a long blade not unlike yeonjun's from his inner sleeve. he is always prepared, as an assassin should be, especially when walking among the streets of a foreign city after sunset. 

"took you a while this time, choi yeonjun. someone is beginning to slow down, hm?" 

yeonjun grits his teeth in annoyance, but overall has become used to the teasing soobin lays thick upon him. 

"sorry, i'm wrong. you were slow to begin with," soobin's lips raise into only a sliver of a smile, keen eyes heavy on yeonjun. he holds his knife close, remaining an arm's distance away from the elder.

"shut the fuck up, choi soobin, i'll fucking cut you," yeonjun spits fast, twisting the knife in his hand in wretched fantasy of it being plunged right through the other's abdomen. 

soobin is unphased, long used to the banter between the two of them, and if anything, bored with it. the blank stare on his face speaks loudly to yeonjun of how redundant this has become. perhaps yeonjun sees soobin's expression as such because it's how he feels, too. this became tiring months and months ago. 

silence settles between them, but soobin is the first to spring into action. he lunges at yeonjun and swoops under the elder's line of aim too fast for yeonjun to react, shell shocked by soobin's sudden attack, before twisting and elbowing yeonjun's shoulder blade as hard as he fucking can. an unexpected, pained sob rises from yeonjun's throat. 

soobin has never engaged first, never truly hurt yeonjun with the intention to injure. this time, yeonjun falls over, catching himself by his forearms. his eyes water, but he forces down the pain. he's dealt with so much physical torture that this is something he can handle just fine. it just took him out for a second there, because it was so unexpected. that's all.

or so yeonjun tells himself as he stands back up. the ache in his shoulder is so intense, his affected arm stiff as lead, yeonjun is both surprised and, all too suddenly, a little fearful. this move was calculated, an infliction on the spot of yeonjun's back that soobin knew would knock the breath right out of him. 

he always understood soobin was a strong, undefeatable assassin, hearing it from others upon being assigned to execute him and the word spread like wildfire, but he never quite got to see it for himself. he only ever caught glimpses of exactly what makes choi soobin so avoidable when the younger man would slip from yeonjun's grasp with an ease the elder could never adopt. now, he's experiencing what everyone is so terrified of. 

honestly, collecting himself took a minute. so occupied with this assignment, yeonjun hasn't gotten much time to exercise his skills, instead his time being filled with tracking soobin down, losing every chance he got, and being punished for it by the agency. 

"i know it was you that night," soobin speaks only inches away from his face, breath fanning warmth against yeonjun's cheeks. 

soobin has him shoved against the aged brick of a restaurant, a free hand squeezing yeonjun's side to a painful degree. suddenly, the edge of soobin's blade is being pressed against yeonjun's throat before the elder can even process what the fuck is going on. he feels his jaw tighten with a fear he's never quite experienced before.

yeonjun feigns innocence, forcing down the shake in his voice and the terror trembling in his abdomen, "i don't know what the fuck you're talking about." 

"don't play stupid, choi yeonjun. you're better than that, right?" soobin tilts his head, mockingly, and yeonjun feels towered by the other, small and cornered. he may be armed, but he always has been, and soobin has always gotten away, regardless of yeonjun's dangerous skills and top quality weapons.

this time, soobin isn't trying to run, he's on the offense. he's ready for this to be over. maybe yeonjun is finally okay with dying, if he's being real. this shit has been an endless chase of cat and mouse, one that has earned nothing but pain and embarrassment on yeonjun's part.

yeonjun swallows the lump in his throat, feeling the blade dig into the skin of his neck, stinging. he's certain his skin has already begun to split, perhaps let blood bubble to the surface. it's okay, his body is already littered with scars, one won't stick out amongst the hundreds of others, some darkened, others pink and flamed.

"so what if it was?" yeonjun narrows his eyes in wavered confidence, but with an anger all too natural. he ignores the blade against his neck and sends a fist into soobin's abdomen, which ultimately fails to affect him enough to let off, but instead causes soobin to push against him, beyond yeonjun's strength, roughly shoving the elder's hands against their torsos. 

"why, yeonjun?" soobin is angry, shaking as he further presses the blade into yeonjun's throat, blood now beginning to trickle down yeonjun's neck as soobin steadily tightens his grip on his side with blunt nails, forcing a gasp to slip past yeonjun's lips and tears to flood his eyes. yeonjun quivers with fear at the lowered pitch of soobin's voice.

"there was no fucking reason for you to help me. no reason! why didn't you just get it the fuck over with? it's been so god damn long, choi yeonjun!" 

he's speechless. yeonjun can't process what was just said by the one man who has done nothing but fend him off and run away with his tail between his legs, like a scared pup. soobin never chose to be the one to end it all, even though he could do so, seamlessly. 

in retrospect, yeonjun is the mouse in this chase, who thought of himself as a cat. until now, soobin was nothing but the feline with a sense of mercy. 

before yeonjun can catch himself, tears begin to fall from his eyes. he can't pinpoint what it is he's crumbling over, but it's all he can do to not sob like a fucking weakling. the slice on his neck continues to bleed, trickling slowly but steadily, bringing forth more tears. 

attempting to collect himself, choking down a sob all the while, yeonjun musters, "you're asking me that? after all the times you could have dealt with it? dealt with me?" 

soobin glowers down at him, eyes penetrating. his breathing is quick, loud through his nose. incredulity, yeonjun feels soobin relieve the pressure of his blade on the elder's neck. it dug deeper than yeonjun was aware of, feeling the wound meet the cold night air. 

despite his general stronghold on his emotions, yeonjun finds himself endlessly crying, silent tears gracing his cheeks. he was always told he was weak, a weight on the agency's shoulders. there was never a day he didn't strive to break through that ceiling, finally receive the praise he so desperately sought. yet, here he stands; cornered, his own blade dropped when soobin had initially attacked him, tears in his eyes, and the haunting thoughts of how merciful soobin has been, how even now he continues to let yeonjun go despite how vulnerable the elder is.

his upbringing was filled with years of hard work, past the brink of abuse, beyond what a child should have endured. despite this, yeonjun is the prey. he is the one born to be left with the wolves. 

soobin backs off, allowing a couple feet between them two. the blade sits in his right hand by his side, leaving that same heavy boulder of fear to remain lodged in yeonjun's belly. right before the elder's eyes, the anger melts from soobin's face to be replaced with a look of what seems to be... disappointment. but no, it can't be, not from the everlasting asshole that is choi soobin. 

to yeonjun's disbelief, the other man pockets his knife without hesitation. that's one thing about soobin, he is decisive, calculated, always knows what he's doing.

"i don't know what i'm doing, so bear with me," soobin pauses with a heavy sigh, eyes averting to the cement beneath them for only a split second. his change in demeanor is giving yeonjun whiplash. he watches as the younger laces both his hands together in front of himself, standing tall. 

yeonjun remains silent, the tears once spilling have begun to stick coldly to the skin of his cheeks. he is incredulous at the sight before him, seeing soobin stare at him with a flat expression. he's going to cry again, maybe, probably, if soobin doesn't start speaking. say something. please...

"i know you're sick of this. it's been two years, choi yeonjun. you don't stop, i don't understand why. and to be fucking frank, i don't understand why your agency hasn't offed you at this point. most wouldn't make it past this point of failure. 

so what i'm saying is..." soobin steps closer, slowly, inch by inch, until he's so close yeonjun can feel the man's warm breath fan across his face." i give in. you can end it now, or send me back to your agency. either way, i am done. and so are you, you've been done." 

soobin brings a hand up, drawing towards yeonjun's neck where he begins to fiddle with the collar of the elder's dark uniform. he gently pulls down the fabric to reveal just a fraction of the scars yeonjun has, eyeing the skin of his neck.

"i've seen them throughout the time you've spent hunting me down. and you always come back with more every time i see you, yeonjun." soobin speaks softly, breathy, and with a tenderness yeonjun has never heard from him before. 

really, it doesn't matter how soobin said it, because the elder assassin feels that familiar spark of anger rise inside him at the mention of his scars. it's the one thing he despises above choi soobin, and yet, it's because of him he no longer has supple, pure skin. yeonjun was never given the chance to be grateful for what once was his appearance, having never known he was to be marred so brutally upon his first failed mission. it simply never crossed yeonjun's mind, and now he lives with the physical memory of all his most painful moments. 

"you don't know shit!" yeonjun bares his teeth as he spits venom, tears pooling, carelessly loud just inches from soobin's face, "you know nothing!" 

soobin is composed, "and yet i know they are because of me. i knew by the fourth time, when you found me only two weeks after your last attempt to off me." soobin stays close, quiet, eyes once again raising to meet yeonjun's. 

"you came with more. very obvious ones," without a second to think, yeonjun feels soobin grab at his hands, albeit gently, pulling his black gloves off and turning the elder's palms up towards the moon. "these brands. you didn't hide these with gloves while they were still healing, and your bandages came off while i fought you off." 

there's a light feeling in yeonjun's tummy upon the words, where that weight of anger and fear and resentment had once settled long ago. yeonjun's tears spill in vain of him attempting to hold them back. he has dealt with inexplicable pain, the kind he wishes to forget. he may have the scars to remember it by, but at least his night terrors would come to an end. 

he has a heart, you know. it can only take so much before it gives up, and yet his has kept chugging along. yeonjun isn't so sure he can do it anymore.

right here, on the streets of rio de janeiro, he gives up. 

soobin had always been intensely compelling to yeonjun, partly a reason for the elder's desperation to get to him, but something he refused to acknowledge because there was nothing to be done about it. he is only an assassin, owned by an agency since infancy, trained to kill and hunt and hurt. inflict, inflict, inflict. there has never been room in yeonjun's heart for the rush of affection and concern to move in.

now, yeonjun knows, as soobin refuses to let go of his hands, where his thumbs graze his scars across his palms. soobin's eyes remain keen on the elder, a sheen to them yeonjun hadn't seen just a minute prior, eyebrows scrunched with an emotion unfamiliar to yeonjun. 

it's with this, the silence tense between them, sharing breath amidst the cold night, that soobin draws in towards him. his lips are warm on yeonjun's when soobin kisses him, his tongue just barely brushing against the other's mouth. soobin raises a hand to hold onto the elder's slim waist and gives a tender squeeze. it's something yeonjun has never experienced before, and it terrifies him so innately, he quickly pulls away. 

yeonjun instinctually moves to step back, but ultimately hits his back hard against the brick, only slightly hitting his head, but enough to irritate. he panics for only a second, but then he realizes soobin is looking at him with an expression of concern, the kind of sweet face he's only ever heard about in short conversations amongst other children of the agency. 

that fluttering sensation rushes back into yeonjun's belly he had felt before when soobin thumbed at the scars of his palms, rising and causing a wave of sudden giddiness to run through him. 

yeonjun feels utterly out of character when he decides to close the distance between them two, cold hands grabbing for the nape of soobin's neck as he lands a hard kiss on the other man's lips. 

"it's because," yeonjun disconnects their lips to speak, only to go right back in, holding soobin's plush bottom lip between his own, then letting go again. tears fill his eyes, "of you. it's all your fault i have these." 

soobin is breathless, his lips already blooming a rosey color, shocked, but then, "i'm sorry i didn't stop when i should've. there was a point where it grew ridiculous, long ago. i should've toughened the fuck up and let you do what you needed to do. 

you still can. if that's how it should be." 

only, yeonjun doesn't want to. not really, not now. he had already crossed that line he drew the first time he met soobin, and now it was blurred, he didn't know whether to step back or run forward. 

his cheeks are hot with nervousness, his dried tears contrasting the warmth. yeonjun right then replies to soobin with no words, but with another kiss and the forebearing grip of soobin's hair. this time, soobin is given the time to reciprocate. he is eager as he slips his tongue past yeonjun's lips and into the elder's mouth, where he licks wetly along yeonjun's own. 

with their eyes closed, hands on each other, yeonjun feels himself falling quickly, at a speed he won't be able to catch himself, and the landing is going to be hard. 

said landing comes when soobin's hands travel from his waist down to his ass, kneading at the flesh through yeonjun's slim uniform. he kisses yeonjun feverishly with a passion unmatched. perhaps it's a relief to let it all out, to release the two years of frustration and failure and pain to flow through the two of them, caught between heated kisses. it feels that way for yeonjun, at least. 

suddenly, when soobin pulls their bodies tight against each other, yeonjun feels a rush of something warm travel from his tummy and down, down, down. the younger man continues to play with his ass, kissing yeonjun just as wantonly as the elder is, all the while craning his neck to reach yeonjun's lips. 

yeonjun doesn't quite know what to do with his hands, to be honest. this is the first and only time he's ever felt the touch of someone without the intention to hurt him. it leaves him clueless, but still, yeonjun feels a natural tug in his chest telling him to wrap his arms around soobin's neck, so he does. 

it only deepens their kiss, capturing their faces between yeonjun's arms, their noses almost uncomfortably pressing against each other, but they can't care, not when this is all they ever needed. yeonjun had no idea this was what infatuation felt like, what it even meant to begin with. he heard so few things about what a kiss entailed. he knew how sex was the final outcome, but something only meant to bring more children into the world for the agency to take as their own. 

nonetheless, when the two men part to catch their breath, yeonjun knows it's so much more than his presumptions. a trail of saliva splits and follows their mouths, cooling against reddened lips.

"yeonjun, come with me. there's a place i found," soobin sweetly, unexpectedly, pulls back in, but only to kiss yeonjun's cheek, proceeding to kiss down until he's mouthing at the elder's jaw. it immediately makes a wreck of yeonjun, who can't help but whimper at the warm, wet sensation. as quickly as it came, soobin stops.

"it's a place agencies can't get to us, i promise. i swear," the younger man speaks with a tone just on the cusp of desperation. he ceases to let go of yeonjun's backside, but his hands are still, simply holding the elder securely against him. 

"they wouldn't know anything of our whereabouts. i was planning to flee there in a week, just after this mission. i couldn't keep living with what i have become... and to be haunted by you, yeonjun. i can't keep playing this game of tag," soobin whispers hotly against yeonjun's lips, just barely grazing. it is so tender to yeonjun, so damn sweet he isn't sure how much he can handle of it. 

"we could leave first thing tomorrow morning, if that's what you want." 

yeonjun agrees with soobin, throwing him for a spin, but choosing to hang onto the other man with a vice grip. he's never allowed himself to trust, but there's always time for change. relief washing upon yeonjun when he realizes how fucking over he is with this lifestyle he's been born into. he's done taking it. he's been marred, endlessly punished, subjected to live as a monster in the night, preying upon those he has been assigned to. 

no more. 

-

the younger man takes yeonjun back to the hotel, the same one from the night the elder helped a drunk soobin into his room. yeonjun is only mildly surprised soobin didn't move places the morning after that incident. he really did call defeat, yeonjun thinks. 

when they enter the luxurious suite, soobin is quick to put his hands on yeonjun once again. he grabs for the elder's waist with one hand, the other cradling yeonjun's neck. soobin's bottom lip is so soft and wet between his, impossible to not desire and melt in the midst. 

yeonjun is elated, but not without a sliver of fear. 

this is so utterly new to him, yet he's taking a dive off the deep end into dark waters. not only that, but the swell of fear grows inside him upon soobin slowly slipping his hand under yeonjun's shirt. 

there isn't an inch on yeonjun's body left untouched other than his face. the agency wouldn't ever want to hinder his way of blending in with society, albeit they've forced him into wearing long sleeves and pants in the hottest of summers for the rest of his fucking life. 

despite soobin's knowledge of his scars, yeonjun is terrified of the other man seeing and feeling them under his fingertips; the way some are raised and pink, while others are dark, misshapen, and even more obvious against the spaces of unblemished skin. it's his burn scars, which are the ones yeonjun finds himself fixating on. they haunt him the most, stand out the most, existing as constant reminders of his trauma. 

yeonjun grabs soobin's hand just as he feels fingertips touch the skin of his abdomen. soobin doesn't seem thrown off, instead, ghosting his lips across yeonjun's as though to comfort the elder. 

"it's okay, choi yeonjun, they're apart of you," soobin speaks lightly against kiss yeonjun's mouth, "and i plan on accepting and appreciating every inch of you." 

damn, yeonjun is fucking floating right now. they took this turn so fast, down a path he had no knowledge of ever existing. but that's okay, because it feels good. it feels so... right. yeonjun may have never experienced what it's like to love and be loved, but perhaps that door has finally unlocked itself, waiting for yeonjun to walk right through it. 

when they pull back into each other, yeonjun makes sure to kiss soobin harder than before, decidedly slipping his own tongue into the other man's mouth. it's so hot, on the border of making yeonjun break into a sweat, but he can't stop. soobin is so utterly tantalizing, yeonjun only wishes he had acknowledged it sooner. 

he lets soobin touch him this time, his large hands under his shirt and pressing warmth into yeonjun's tummy, his sides, the low span of his back. it isn't long before yeonjun feels his cock swell just as soobin's hands travel south, where he slides nimble fingers beneath the line of his pants and tenderly runs his thumbs along yeonjun's hipbones. he sucks on the elderly's tongue all too eagerly, coercing a gasp out of yeonjun. 

"you're fucking gorgeous, yeonjun," soobin leaves kisses along the elder's jaw, down his neck, then back up to lick into his mouth. yeonjun tries to keep up with soobin's pace, heavily dazed with arousal he's only ever been ignorant towards. 

"it drove me crazy each time i left you in pain, and how i knew the agency would punish you," soobin speaks hushedly, but then amorously, "i've always wanted to touch you like this." 

yeonjun is at a loss for words, in all honesty. he's so out of his comfort zone, and to have soobin baring his emotions to him is overwhelming, however touching it may be. he decides to inhale deeply, slowly, allow himself to float back down to earth. it's okay, choi yeonjun, it's okay to open up, to feel things.

"then do it, choi soobin, touch me," yeonjun breathes into the other man's mouth, eyes so close but still tied onto each other. he whispers, "please." 

walking is a feat when you're sucking someone else's face off, apparently, because when the two meet the bed, they both go falling. soobin saves yeonjun from his body weight, catching himself on his forearms at the elder's head. quickly, soobin seeks yeonjun's mouth once again, licking along the insides of his cheeks, wrapping their tongues. 

there's spit all over yeonjun's lower face, and while it'd be absolutely disgusting any other given moment, it only sends a flare of arousal down into his groin. his cock has been hard for too long considering the discomfort he's beginning to feel. pants are his worst enemy right now definitely on the list above soobin - who withdraws from their kiss to sit up, above yeonjun, and gingerly pull yeonjun's long sleeved shirt off. 

yeonjun is so scared, embarrassed even, despite soobin's previous words of comfort. this is the one thing that has devastated him the most. never did he think a day would come like this, where he would expose himself so intimately, apart from the agency stripping him and searching, then punishing without an ounce of mercy. 

he lets soobin do it, anyway. yeonjun swallows down that lump of fear in his throat and, as though instinctually, gently pulls soobin in by the neck and kisses him on the mouth; a sweet one, tender and slow. soobin is eager as ever, panting each time they part, only to dive back in with a wet tongue and swollen lips. 

soobin undresses him completely, languid as he whispers sweet nothings against yeonjun's mouth, upon the shell of his ear, and the skin of his neck. yeonjun is half-ass at helping soobin strip, filled with too much arousal to know what to do, instead following alongside soobin. 

"you're beautiful, yeonjun, i swear to god..." soobin leans over, kissing a trail down yeonjun's neck, his chest, all the way to the scars across his belly button, making sure to take his time and teasingly lick into yeonjun's navel. it draws a moan out of the elder, a shy one that he can't help but stifle. 

"don't hold it in, baby," soobin looks up from yeonjun's tummy, hands splayed upon the elder's ribs. "i want to hear you, make sure you feel good." 

soobin tenderly kisses along yeonjun's body, as though wanting to love and soothe every inch of him. it sets a fire in yeonjun's heart, one that he knows is inextinguishable, and he's perfectly okay with that. 

soon enough, yeonjun reaches his limit of patience. his cock remains swollen with blood, balls tight, and it's painful, to be honest. it's unlike any pain he's ever felt, however mild, it's entirely foreign to yeonjun. 

"soobin, it hurts. please," yeonjun is surprised at the desperation in his own voice, but he can't care, not when he needs to cum so badly. soobin isn't touching him enough, for fuck's sake.

wordlessly, soobin sits up, his cock hanging heavy and erect. yeonjun is intimidated at the sight of soobin. the younger man's cock is noticeably bigger than his, if yeonjun is honest, thicker and longer. but that's not a bad thing - who fucking cares? not soobin, especially when he's holding his cock, and lining it up against yeonjun's own. 

yeonjun notices soobin gauge his response, searching for a hint of reluctance or fear, but it never comes. the elder is absolutely shaking with arousal, beyond the capacity to give a shit. he needs soobin, viscerally, or else he might just explode.

decidedly, soobin holds their cocks together, his engorged and standing tall against yeonjun's, which is indeed quite small in comparison. yeonjun only feels an ounce of abashment before soobin wraps his giant palm around the both of them and tugs, and then, yeonjun finds himself melting.

masturbating wasn't a sin, but the agency was strict about sexual engagement both on others and oneself. sex was a distraction in their eyes, a threat that could pull their assassins off their path. it was something yeonjun never dabbled in, simply because it was out of question, and never was he a disobedient assasin. besides, his time was filled, off completing missions and crashing into a deep sleep anytime he could. the trauma he endured took away any sex drive he had, probably. perhaps that was a sparing moment for yeonjun, because being insanely horny and forbidden from seeking relief sounds like psychological torture. 

the sensation of soobin's palm on his cock brings an instant wave of euphoria through yeonjun, from the tip of his toes to the top of his head. he's in the fucking stars, his cock pulsing with pleasure. yeonjun can't hold back the moans that spill past his lips, loud and unabashed, to which soobin swallows yeonjun's pleasure with sloppy kisses.

the pull of soobin's fist is weak, teasingly so, nowhere near what yeonjun yearns, needs. just as soobin drags their cocks together at a quickening pace - yeonjun watching with a heaving chest as the skin pushes up, where soobin thumbs at the tip of his cock, then back down to expose the head, thumbing at the underside vein - he suddenly lets off, allowing their cocks to part. precum had just begun to bead, and it's with this that yeonjun whines. the loss of soobin's hot palm and cock against his leaves him a frustrated mess. 

"no, no, please," yeonjun grapples soobin's hand, attempting to bring it back to his cock. his eyes shine with tears induced by the desperation for sex, the yearning for soobin to lay his hands on him. 

"what is it, choi yeonjun? you need it?" soobin's tenderness remains, albeit keeping his hands in the wrong place, on yeonjun's thighs, thumbing at the raised scars. it feels nice, but yeonjun doesn't want just good, he wants the heat of arousal to sizzle him from the inside out, if only soobin would give it to him. 

"you need my cock, huh?" soobin is just being rude at this point, teasing yeonjun with the words of someone seasoned. 

now that he thinks about it, soobin may be an assassin, but unlike yeonjun, he's definitely had someone in his bed before. perhaps more. a flicker of envy passes through the forefront of yeonjun's mind, but he lets it pass, because it really doesn't fucking matter. he's here now, and he's only in his 20s, he's young, he has so much time to catch up. he only hopes soobin will help him in doing so. 

yeonjun is eager, but shy, head feeling underwater with how lost he is. nonetheless, he can't help but whisper, "yes, fuck, i need your cock." 

soobin opens him up slowly after having been told by yeonjun that he'd never done this. it was a sheepish moment for yeonjun, when he had to pause soobin as the man began to spread his asscheeks, already seeking his hole with slender fingers. luckily, soobin is a careful listener, wanting nothing but to pleasure yeonjun. he had responded as such, leaving a kiss, warm and soft as silk, upon yeonjun's lips. 

it's initially uncomfortable for yeonjun. feeling a finger slip in - with the help of lubricant the younger man had pulled from the messy depths of his bedside drawer - left an inviting mark on yeonjun. yet, the drag of soobin's fingers inside of him is so foreign, stinging when soobin spreads his fingers to stretch yeonjun open. soobin assures him the burn will go away, setting aside the teasing for words of comfort. 

go away, it does. with three of soobin's fingers inside him, yeonjun is wrecked. moaning, sweat beading down his temples, eyes blurred with arousal as the younger man thrusts his fingers into his ass at a delicious speed; not too fast to harm his sensitive, virgin hole, but enough to make him cry against the line of soobin's lips. 

soobin speaks to him, words of filth and affection all intertwined. he mouths along yeonjun's face, down his chin, up his jaw, kissing wetly at yeonjun's earlobe for just a moment, before traveling back down to meet yeonjun's mouth once again, suckling on the elder's tongue. it melts yeonjun into a puddle of infallible pleasure, making his cock twitch over and over. 

repeatedly, soobin hits a spot inside yeonjun that sends a white hot spark of pleasure shoot all the way up his cock. the stimulation forces a long cry from yeonjun's throat, loud and clear. but then, soobin stills the fingers inside of him, lips parting from yeonjun's. 

"you still want my cock, choi yeonjun? or are my fingers all you need? should i stop here?" the younger man whispers, hot against yeonjun's ear, his tone dripping with the intention to taunt, to poke and prod. it sends a wave of heat down into yeonjun's tummy.

"no, please! please, i need your cock inside me," yeonjun pants, desperate, almost frantic with need. 

soobin obliges, ultimately slicking his cock with a lubed hand and lining it up with yeonjun's opened hole. he takes a second, languidly dragging the tip of his cock along yeonjun's entrance, just to wind the elder up. then, finally, with a kiss, he pushes into yeonjun, slow but steady. 

it fucking burns, more than the three fingers did. after all, soobin's cock is well above average, and right now, yeonjun feels like he's being split open. soobin pauses to secure yeonjun's legs around his waist, widening them to gain more access to the man's hole. yeonjun feels his insides conform to soobin's sizeable cock as the younger man plunges in, stinging with the promise of something mind blowing. 

upon bottoming out, soobin grunts deep in his throat, staying still as to allow yeonjun's hole to adjust to his girth. yeonjun is profusely sweating, beading down his face, chest, his back sticking to the sheets. he's gasping almost every breath, holding onto what air he can, but soobin's cock is almost unbearably deep inside him. 

without a groan, soobin drags his cock out, sluggish in effort to relieve yeonjun of any discomfort. the elder can tell soobin's having a hard time holding himself back with the way he shakes. he lets out small moans as he unsheathes his cock from inside yeonjun, only leaving the head inside. then, with a single breath, soobin pushes in harder, faster this time. yeonjun feels soobin's balls slap him just under his hole from the force of the younger's thrust, right between his cheeks, as a hiccuped sob rises from his throat. 

it's intoxicating, the resistance of yeonjun's tight hole working against the drag of soobin's cock absolutely delicious. it sends a charge of electric arousal through him, making his cock twitch. soobin fucks into yeonjun faster and faster with each plunge into his ass, cock driving into him so deeply he can feel soobin inside his tummy. 

they kiss with passion, hot and wet and filthy, tongues twisting around each other. spit spills past yeonjun's lips, down his cheeks, where soobin messily licks it up, then proceeds to suck on yeonjun's full bottom lip. 

"fuck," yeonjun gasps, head craning back against the pillow with the vehemence of pleasure when soobin drives a particularly harsh thrust into him and hits that sweet spot dead-on with the thick head of his cock. yeonjun doesn't quite understand what it is soobin is touching deep inside him with his cock, but he can't even begin to question that it feels like he's arrived at the gates of heaven. not when soobin is mericlessly fucking into him. 

"do you like being fucked? so vulnerably?" soobin pants, sweat dripping down his chin as he leverages himself with the back of yeonjun's left thigh marred with a huge, jagged cicatrix. "you're taking my cock so well, yeonjun." 

yeonjun can only muster out a whimper, nodding and then choking on a moan when soobin pushes his cock vigorously into his hole, leaving the underside of yeonjun's ass pink from the force. soobin doesn't stop there, opting to cease the teasing as to animalistically pitch his fat cock into yeonjun, long moans drawing out from the younger man each time he pulls out. 

suddenly, they're switching positions. soobin slips his cock out of yeonjun to pull the man up, to which yeonjun feels the warmth of lube leak from his gaped hole, trailing down his ass into the bed sheets. steadily, soobin guides yeonjun onto his lap with his large hands on the elder's thin waist, who is caught up in the hazy state of sex, and leans back against the pillows. he presses his lips onto yeonjun's, who achingly reciprocates, tongue lapping into soobin's mouth. 

"i'm going make you cum so hard, choi yeonjun," soobin's voice is low, almost predatory. it makes the elder giddy, cock twitching when he sees the glint in soobin's eyes.

before he can even get a breath in, soobin is lining his cock back up with yeonjun's hole and immediately slamning up into him. the new position allows soobin's cock to reach places yeonjun has never felt before, his hole being stretched to its full capacity, making him extend his neck in a silent moan, eyebrows knitted.

soobin's cock hooks into the delicious bundle of nerves inside yeonjun, the elder's cock twitching in response. his lower belly begins to feel tight, like a rope being pulled apart gradually, steadily, on the cusp of breaking. mercilessly, soobin drives into that sweet spot over and over. it's so fucking euphoric, yeonjun can't help but cry, salty tears pooling only to run down his cheeks. 

yeonjun grips onto soobin's shoulders, nails digging into the unblemished flesh, the younger man's tight around his hips, using the elder's body like a fucktoy, pushing yeonjun's ass up with the strength of his arms only to pull him back down harshly onto his cock. he's moaning alongside yeonjun, who's been thrown into a full blown crying session, utterly possessed with the arousal of sex. it only drives soobin into fucking him harder, faster, the slap of his balls on yeonjun's reddened ass leaving an echo. 

"soobin, fuck! i'm close, i'm so close," yeonjun says between hiccups, the younger man kissing his chest, licking at yeonjun's rosey nipples as he plunges his cock deep inside the elder.

"do it, yeonjun, cum for me, baby," and then, soobin is letting go of his waist to wrap his free hand around the girth of yeonjun's cock. he drags his fist tightly around yeonjun, skin pulling so deliciously it makes the elder drool, tears dripping down his face. 

he's overwhelmed, doused with arousal and pleasure and all things soobin has laid upon him. the heady stench of sex only further indulges yeonjun. soobin unforgivingly fucks into yeonjun, a speed he can't keep up, body limp on top of soobin's. he's been chiseled down to a sobbing mess, a state in which he simply allows soobin to piston his cock into him however he likes.

it's so unlike what yeonjun always thought he deserved; a life empty of love, sex, pleasure, euphoria. and yet, yeonjun feels it now. the unyielding pull in his belly tightens each time soobin's cock drives against the clench of his walls, squelching with each thrust. the yank of soobin's large hand swallowed around his cock feels so fucking good, it almost hurts. 

it's just too much all at once. this is it, yeonjun tells himself, he's done for. 

it only takes one tug, one final thrust into him, that sweet spot of yeonjun's singing as its pressed into by the head of soobin's cock, for yeonjun to cum. his cock shoots hot, milky white seed all over soobin's fist, dribbling down onto the younger's belly. when he releases yeonjun's cock, he watches yeonjun writhe and practically scream, cock twitching with each pulsating wave of pleasure, semen spilling. 

soobin takes the moment to his advantage, yeonjun's hole clenching down on his cock from the force of the elder's orgasm. he decidedly fucks into yeonjun feverishly, so fast he loses his breath and can't care to catch it, too caught up in seeking his own orgasm. 

yeonjun's hole is holding tight, even after his climax comes and goes, over stimulation beginning to set in. the elder is a mumbling mess of words, telling soobin how good that felt, - how it's too much - tears in his eyes, spit dribbling down his chin like a sleepy little one.

"yeonjun, i, ah-" soobin tries to speak clearly between breathe, but is so deep into his own pleasure he can't help but gasp into yeonjun's mouth. "i'm going to - fuck - cum inside you so hard." 

just then, soobin does, hot against his walls. the younger man's balls rise and tighten, his perineum twitching every time seed shoots from his cock and into yeonjun. eyes squeezed shut and mouth hanging open, soobin moans loudly, unabashedly.

it's a beautiful sight to see, in all honesty. pushing aside the over stimulation of soobin inside him, cum leaking from his hole and around the younger man's cock, he bends over to kiss soobin on the lips in a tender manner, contradicting their previous kisses and the way soobin fucked him so well. he loves it, the sweetness of things, how soobin so carefully opened him up, but then fucked him like his life depended on it, all the while making sure yeonjun reached satisfaction, too. 

soobin pulls his softening cock out, allowing the frothed mix of cum and lube to drip from yeonjun's hole. they can't catch their breaths, not yet, at least, with the way the two are too busy licking into each other's mouths. they may be satiated, but this is only the beginning, and after this, yeonjun is absolutely eager to see what else the future holds, as long as soobin is involved. 

he curses the agency for holding him back from something like this, striking the fear of punishment in him so deeply, he never bothered to gift himself the pleasure of sex, or even an orgasm. waking up with cum in his briefs after a particularly sexual dream did not count, by the way. 

"this went a little too well, choi yeonjun," soobin narrows his eyes, but a smile remains on his cupid lips. "i think someone was long overdue to be fucked." 

yeonjun blushes. for the first time in his fucking life, his cheeks redden upon the rush of affection swelling in his chest. it's an airy sensation unlike anything he's ever felt, and he invites it wholeheartedly. 

he may be scarred, tortured, and paranoid at the thought of his agency hunting him down just to bring him back and torture him for nth time, but he's going to give the ounce of trust he owns to soobin. it scares him, almost paralyzing to him if he thinks about it too hard, but yeonjun feels utterly compelled to follow his gut on this one. 

-

it's hours later, in the dead of night, that soobin asks him again. 

"you'll disappear with me, right?" 

dark, with nothing but the moon cutting into the pitch blackness, yeonjun turns to look at the younger man. the lines of soobin's face glow with light of the moon and stars, entrancing yeonjun. the turn of soobin's nose, the peak of his bunny lips, the roundness of his cheeks; it makes yeonjun question just how much beauty this world has to offer, and why he was one of those who's lived with the lack of such things for so long.

he wants to kiss soobin so badly, despite how silly that is to think about. just yesterday he promised himself this would be the final time he'd see choi soobin - whether that meant through execution or raising a white flag to his agency and allowing them to off him - he had been ready for the end. instead, yeonjun finds himself tangled in silk bedsheets, soobin's feet warm against his, slender fingers in his hair, breath fanning his face.

here, it is content, calm; another state of existence. 

"yes." 

\- 

the next morning, they're gone.

**Author's Note:**

> soobin got drunk during a mission in rio de janeiro, why??  
> 1\. he felt like his current mission was taking too long to work out  
> 2\. add being lonely asf on top of that & you got a sad choi soobin who decided that getting shit faced with a bunch of strangers was the remedy  
> 3\. couldn't cope with the murderous duties of an assassin, esp on his own :/ shit caught up to him  
> the beginning was a lil rough, ik, very fast paced me thinks. i was originally aiming for a short prompt, not this MONSTROSITY, but the story just kept writing itself...  
> anyway! drop y'all's thoughts in the comments if you'd like, i always appreciate kind feedback! <3  
> hope y'all enjoyed!  
> follow my twt @soobknot!


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